The New Doormat

My New Doormat

Who are we fucking kidding? Not being all cute faux-ghetto; we haven’t had a working doorbell in four years.

*update: apparently a better definition is necessary, as i keep getting corrected on the spelling my my lovely spanish greeting

1. an exclamation of greeting.
2. an exclamtion used to show excitement or enthusiasm.
3. To call or summon
interj. “Holl-a! (greeting)”
interj. “Look at those ladies…Holl-a!”
verb “I’ll holla atch’ya in a hot minute”



Within five minutes of moving in to my college sophomore dorm room, I had a an impulse to rip out the screen from the window and throw it out the now open . It resulted in an
inexplicable euphoric state of satisfaction. And that very quickly morphed in to the act of repeating the act with straight up trash. Every day. Several times. For the following THREE years. Passers by might swerve to avoid the following: 1/2 empty iced tea bottle, a clothing item damaged beyond repair, cans, tremendous lamp, overflowing ashtrays, or pizza boxes. At the time, I was not particularly troubled. Or ashamed. That’s just some messed up shit.