Swimming Pools…

Let me just say I am 100% in support of making sure kids (and adults) are safe in any situation where there is potential threat of drowning. You can never be too careful. So, when my kid received an invite to a classmate’s birthday party with this printout attached, it wasn’t the pool safety importance I objected to, it was the specificity and
length of particulars. The longitude and latitude of where male guests could pee outdoors. The request that we bring a certain type of present (proceeded by the assurance that a gift was NOT required. Phew, thanks for pointing that out). I want a “fun, safe” day too, but when I was throwing a pool party, I hired 4 teenagers who were lifeguards from the Y and called it a day. So, maybe it’s just me, but this seemed awfully … Ungracious? Icky? Something is just slightly off:

“Keep in Mind…
Please bring a towel and a bathing suit. Also, it’s fine with me if your kid comes with another family, but make sure that each kid who comes has a specific grownup who will be solely responsible for them. We want a safe, fun day.

While a birthday gift is not required, if you do choose to bring something, I’d really appreciate it if no one gives him a toy having to do with weaponry or violence.
Hope to see you Saturday!
These are our basic pool rules if you could share them with your kids:
-No diving (pool is 7 feet at deepest point),
– no dunking heads,
-no hitting anyone with pool toys, -no toys in spa.
-Boys may pee outside of gated pool (in area facing trees at perimeter of property)
-Please dry off a bit to use bathrooms inside house.
-Don’t jump onto pool toys from edge of pool lest you slip backwards and hit your head on the coping.
– no glass or crockery in pool area (we will supply paper and plastic ware for you)”